Dam You Auto-Resurrect!
by SecretAgent013
Summary: It was a lazy afternoon in Gotham when Dick Grayson picked up his phone to text his brothers. It was such a harmless act, what could possibly go wrong? Apparently...a lot. One Shot - No slash! Rated T for implied language


Dam You Auto-Resurrect!

**Hey guys! I'm not a huge fan of language or innuendos, so you'll find those rather lacking – for those of you who think it makes Jason's character a little OC, I understand. I hope you'll still find it an amusing read! **

**Dick:** Hey guys! So this is a reminder that were all meeting up tonight 6! :D

**Tim:** Sounds good.

**Damian:** Grayson, I'm two rooms away. Stop bothering me with useless texts.

**Dick:** That's mean L Aren't u excited 4 tonight?

**Jason:** Why am I getting everyone's txts?

**Tim:** It's the way group txting works J.

**Damian:** Slow as always Todd. There is no need for excitement Grayson. It's just you idiots.

**Jason:** Stop monologuing brat. Ur txting not writing a speech

**Tim:** monologuing isn't a word

**Damian:** Neither is half of his vocabulary

**Dick:** Guys chill already! Dami – b excited!

**Jason:** Whatev. Where r we meeting again?

**Dick:** The deliphtuf diner!

**Damian:** No

**Tim:** nice spelling there Dick.

***Jason:** No? Is it dds or NOT?

**Damian:** What else do you expect from Grayson? Pitiful.

**Tim:** Yes Jason, D was referring 2 Dick's other txt

**Jason:** so annoying

**Dick:** u sound like an old man!

**Damian:** you are all making my head hurt

**Jason:** moist as usual Damian.

**Damian:** ….

**Tim:** ….

**Jason:** Moony!

**Dick:** ….

****Jason:** Moody darling.

**Damian:** Todd take a breath.

**Jason:** DAM it!

**Dick:** LOL! Ur phone is censoring ur moose XP

**Tim:** Right Dick. His moose.

**Dick:** Mouth! –cmon, u know what I mean.

**Damian: **I'm talking to morons.

**Tim:** Then u fit right in.

**Damian:** Shirt up Drake.

**Tim:** I like my shirt down, but thanks.

**Dick:** HAHAH!

**Damian:** This dam piece of technology!

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAHA – im dyeing over here X)

**Tim:** I think you mean Dying.

**Dick:** Yeah yeah that thing.

**Jason:** phones are so shifty.

**Dick:** Yes Jason, yours is particularly suspicious.

**Tim:** There goes his phone, censoring his moose again.

**Jason:** Row up Tim!

**Tim:** keep digging that hole J.

**Jason:** I'm going to marry you tim!

A momentary lapse of texting

**Tim:** That's rather forward of you J.

**Damian:** Father is going to love this.

**Jason:** bury. B-U-R-Y you!

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Damian:** naturally you'd be able to make that mistake

**Dick:** Do you Jason peter Todd-Wayne take Timothy Draeeeka e;ar

**Dick:** can't txt…laughing 2 hard!

**Jason:** Ima gonna kill u

**Damian:** You might succeed with Grayson, I think he's having a seizure.

**Tim:** Its just the stupid auto-correct

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAH!

**Jason:** Qack off.

**Tim:** Jason…maybe you should stop.

**Dick:** HAHA – no please don't -2 fnny XD XD

**Damian: **This just goes to show how encouraging you all are

**Damian:** Incomplete.

**Damian:** Incompetantly

**Damian:** INCOMPETIONS

**Tim:** Incompetent?

**Damian:** I'm going to kill you too.

**Dick:** Or would you rather marry him instead?

**Jason:** DUCK!

**Tim:** Duck?

**Dick:** Goose!

**Jason:** I meant Duck

**Jason:** Dick. Stupid piece of shift!

**Dick:** pffff

**Tim:** I'm mentally face-palming

**Jason:** This is ridiculous. My phone won't let me b angry!

**Dick:** HAHAHAHHAHAH

**Dick:** It's the moose again! HAHAHAHA!

**Jason:** !##%$ ~ #! $

**Damian:** You realize your laughing at the fact that his phone considers

**Damian:** Your name a swear word right?

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAH!

**Tim:** He's lost it.

*****Jason:** That's it. I'm heafting.

**Damian:** This has become pathetic Todd.

**Jason:** L

**Jason:** E

**Jason:** A

**Jason:** V

**Jason:** I

**Jason:** N

**Jason:** G

**Damian:** Stop spanking my phone!

**Tim:** ….

**Dick:** HAHAHAHA! XD XD XD

**Damian:** SPAMMING

**Jason:** what in the wrld r those faces 4? They r creeping me out

**Damian:** Grayson is losing the little neurons he has left

**Tim:** Make sure he breaths Damian

**Jason:** NO. LEAVE HIM TO ROT!

**Tim: **Dick?

**Dick:** Kk, im ok now

**Jason:** Darn, here I was hoping u died of a heartattack

**Tim:** heart attack. 2 words J

**Damian:** two not 2. If you are correcting his spelling have the decency to use it properly yourself

**Dick:** and miss ur wedding? Not on my life!

**Jason:** quit the grammar lesson replacement.

**Jason:** $^% it

**Jason:** Ur not coming out of this alive Dickie-boy

**Tim:** Spelling not grammar

**Tim:** Save a piece of him for me

**Dick:** Jealous much? Srry, im already taken X)

**Jason:** That's disgusting. Ur disgusting

**Tim:** he's also 9 years old.

**Private Message: Dick to Roy:** Roy roy!

**Private Message: Roy to Dick:** whada ya want?

**Private Message: Dick to Roy:** Jason wants to marry Tim!

**Damian:** This is pathetic. I'm heafting.

**Private Message: Roy to Dick:** WHAT?

**Private Message: Dick to Roy:** He said so himself!

**Tim:** …

**Jason:** SEE? ITS NOT JUST ME!

**Tim:** ur phones rigged or something?

**Dick:** XD

**Private Message: Dick to Connor:** Hey Connor! Did you know Jason wants to marry Tim?

**Private Message: Connor to Dick:** What are you talking about?

**Jason:** Dick, what did you do?

**Private Message: Dick to Connor:** Yup, they r just talking about it

**Private Message: Roy to Jason:** Dude, are you possessed or something?

**Tim:** Oh no, Dick….what did u do?

**Private Message: Jason to Roy:** What are u talking about? I'm in a bad enough

**Private Message: Jason to Roy:** mood to try to figure out ur games.

**Private Message: Roy to Jason:** So he turned you down?

**Tim:** What. Did. U. Do?!

**Dick:** mwahahahaha X)

**Private Message: Jason to Roy:** WHAT?

**Private Message: Roy to Jason:** Kinda figured Tim didn't want to marry you.

**Jason:** RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON I'M GOING TO KILL YOU

**Jason:** BRING YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD, AND KILL YOU AGAIN

**Jason:** THEN DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE!

**Damian:** Great.

**Tim:** Dick…WHAT DID U DO

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAHAAH!

**Private Message: Connor to Tim:** Why does Jason want to marry you?

**Tim:** DICK!

**Dick:** HAHAHAHAHA XD XD

**Damian:** Grayson when you die can I have your laptop?

**Private Message: Jason to Roy:** It's the freaking auto correct

**Private Message: Roy to Jason:** Don't worry Jason, the disappointment wears off eventually

**Private Message: Tim to Connor:** It was a mistake

**Damian:** On second thought, I claim your room. It's bigger than mine.

**Private Message: Jason to Roy:** I'M GOING TO KILL U 2

**Private Message: Connor to Tim:** Figured. Um, Cassie is missing that bit fyi

**Damian:** And I also want your eriscma sticks

**Private Message: Tim to Connor:** Wait…no! stop her before she tells everyone!

**Tim:** Dick I'm going to murder you tonight

**Dick:** XD thanks for the heads up!

**Jason:** U won't have a head when Im done with u

**Private Message: Cassandra to Jason:** Does Bruce know?

**Damian:** Just save his hair. We can sell it to the girls for a lot of money

**Private Message: Jason to Cassandra:** ITS NOT TRUE – ITS DICK BEING STUPID

**Jason:** Death suddenly isn't a big enough punishment

**Dick:** HAHAHAHA!

**Private Message: Cassandra to Jason:** Ah. Ok.

**Tim:** Ugh, this is turning into a nightmare

**Private Message: Stephanie to Tim:** So Timmy, is there something ur not telling me?

**Jason:** And you wonder why I never want to meet up with u guys!?

**Private Message: Tim to Stephanie:** WHAT? NO! How did you find out about that?

**Damian:** So, which of you three degenerate beings isn't red in the face yet?

**Private Message: Stephanie to Tim:** So you are cheating on me! I should've known…but J?

**Private Message: Tim to Stephanie:** NOOOO! Who told you?

**Dick:** U love it and u know it

**Private Message: Stephanie to Tim:** LOL! Wally told me!

**Jason:** No, I really don't.

**Tim:** DICK TELL WALLY TO SHUT UP!

**Private Message: Tim to Stephanie:** This is getting out of control

**Private Message: Stephanie to Tim:** lol! So, Dick dead yet?

**Damian:** No use. That moron's mouth runs faster than his feet.

**Dick:** Wally? I never told Wally…

**Private Message: Tim to Stephanie:** Almost

**Damian:** You guys should just admit defeat and settle on a date.

**Tim/Jason:** DAMIAN I'M GOING TO KILL U

**Private Message:** **Dick to Wally:** Wallman, how'd u hear the news?

**Private Message: Wally to Dick:** From Bart duh. It was a auto correct prob right?

**Damian:** Tt. Just try too. You would fall before me.

**Private Message: Dick to Wally:** Best one yet! But um how many people know?

**Tim:** Damian shut up.

**Private Message: Wally to Dick:** Oh just the JLA. And maybe the Titans. And a few others.

**Private Message: Dick to Wally:** …I'm so dead.

**Jason:** Dick, how many people know?

**Dick:** Not a lot. Just a few.

**Tim:** That's not what I'm hearing.

**Damian:** It's the talk of the JLA. I just hacked their audio system. Wow, I'm impressed Grayson

**Jason:** What is it?

**Tim:** Don't tell me, I don't want to know

**Damian:** I've never seen news travel quite this fast

**Dick:** MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Damian:** Yes, I've never seen Father's phone lines so busy either.

**Dick:** UH OH

**Jason:** Don't worry Dick, by the time he gets to u, ull b in little pieces

**Tim:** And burned twice over

**Private Message: Dick to Roy and Wally:** SAAAVEEEE MEEEEE!

**Private Message:** **Roy to Dick:** No way man. This is all on u

**Private Message: Wally to Dick:** srry, laughing 2 hard 2 care 4 ur safety!

**Dick:** I'm so dead….

**Damian:** Finally out of denial? Now, can I have your room when you die?

**Bruce to Boys:** Boys. My office. NOW.

**Tim:** It's all Dick's fault!

**Jason:** It's his fault twice over!

**Damian:** I was not involved in the slightest!

**Dick:** I'm sorry. The phone u have txted is out of service…

**Tim:** Don't u dare try to get out of this

**Damian:** Add me to your quest on Killing Grayson

**Jason:** Dam you auto-resurrect!

***Delightful Diner **

**** he meant to say- moody darn it (has actually happened to me before!)**

*****just in case you didn't get it, he meant leaving**

**So yeah, there you go! What did you think? **


End file.
